Moving On
by TDCSI
Summary: Post Grissom's departure, so if you haven't see it, don't read this. Unless you love to be spoiled.


Disclaimer: CSI is not mine; I just enjoy playing with them.

Spoiler warning, if you have not seen Grissom's farewell episode I recommend not reading. Unless you don't care and want to know what happens at the end. This is not betaed so any mistakes are mine, if you can't live with that, that's tough. It's in Grissom's POV, so live with it.

Moving On

"That a man is successful who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much, who has gained the respect of the intelligent men and the love of children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who leaves the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty or failed to express it; who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had." Robert Louis Stevenson

I sigh. Everything is boxed up and ready to join the rest of my belongings in a secured storage facility.

I'm positive I've covered all of my bases. Huh, a baseball metaphor, Sara would have laughed at me. God, I miss her so.

I glance over the blank walls once again and pick up the wooden block that holds my so called 'name tag'. My fingers run over the indented white letters. It's a place that I will always hold dear, but as I once stated, I'm a teacher without students.

Since Warrick's death, and Sara's email, I've never felt as drained as I have these past months. I smile as I think, Catherine was right, she knew before I did. As I think her attitude towards me has softened and been more comforting than ever. Maybe she was trying to keep me here, but knew it was a losing battle.

I'll miss everyone. The after shift drinks with Brass come to mind. There's no way of knowing how many bottles of scotch we had gone through over the years. I smile when I think of the nights when we drained several bottles. Brass would sleep it off in his office while I would retire to my own. After Sara and I began living together, she would return to the lab to find me inebriated. I vaguely remember, but her gentle touches and soft voice were like music to my ears.

I glance up and see Greg walk by deep in thought. Another sigh, damn, I do that a lot. He walks down the hall and out of my sight. My mind travels back to when he was a DNA junkie. His hair was never in the same shape or shade day after day. It gives me a sense of pride to see him now. Greg is destined to be a great CSI, and it's all because of me.

I shake my head as I feel my face flush and my eyes get hazy. I know this is the right decision, but I still can't help but think of the people, the family I'm leaving behind.

I hear Nick before I see him. He's on the phone as usual trying to track something down. It's him I feel I'll miss the most. Like Greg, I changed his life, not just saved it. Next to Sara's dilemma, I was never so scared in my life. Watching Nick struggle to stay alive right in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. I can still see those images as if they were happening now.

While I'm looking out my door a man appears with a large dolly. "Doctor Grissom?"

I incline my head and hand him a slip of paper. "Everything is ready to go, this is where they are supposed to go."

"No problem, I'll take care of it."

"Thanks." I watch as he begins loading all of my belongings.

It didn't take him long to get all of the boxes loaded and gone. I watch as my things disappear. I know I'll see them again, I'm just not sure when. With another sigh I turn to look around the now bare area I called my second home. I leave the name tag on the desk and a picture that I know Catherine will keep proudly displayed. It was similar to the one Sara and Greg found at Warrick's, only we were at Lake Meade. Everyone's eyes were hidden by dark sunglasses, but the picture spoke loud and clear. It was a cherished moment of happiness. Nick and Greg stood to my right, their smiles infectious making me smile even now. Sara was close to my left, I'm surprised Catherine didn't catch on to our relationship there. You know, thinking back, her hand is on my butt. Then I notice something an investigator like me should have picked up on; Warrick's arm is around Catherine, but in more of a possessive manner than a friendly one. I knew she adored Warrick, but now as I think, her reaction to his death had more meaning to it. She mourned like she had lost her soul mate, and the more I think about it, the more I can relate.

The morning I came home to find our house empty killed me. I just lost Warrick and it was heartbreaking to find her gone. I can't blame her, because I can't count how many times I wanted to pack it all up and call it quits.

I walk out and close the door behind me. Just as I turn, I see Jim. We silently speak as we are experts at reading the others thoughts. He knows as well as I do this will be the last times we'll see each other for God knows how long. I know he's not happy with it, but respects my decision. With a slight grin he walks away.

Another sigh and I begin my walk. Everyone is busy with their tasks, or hitting on coworkers. Damn Hodges, give it up. I can't help but smile, Wendy doesn't help when she flirts back. Greg's processing evidence and doesn't notice me. Neither does Nick as he digs into a car. Both he and Warrick were the ones I could count on to find that little piece of evidence from the car that would break the case wide open. I pause in front of the conference room.

Ecklie is discussing something with Catherine. She glances up and gives me a little wink. I grin back and purse my lips before turning and head for the door. I suspect that she knows my intentions, but is respectful and keeps them to herself.

Like I said no party, no cake; I'll just be gone, and that's how it's going down. As I pass the reception desk, I remove my ID badge and place it on the desk without missing a step.

The sun's rising brightly on the horizon and I pull my sunglasses from my pocket. My steps never falter as I approach my car and climb inside. Without a second glance, I pull away from CSI for the last time.

A few stops to make, then I'll be on my way. I leave my car in Brass' driveway and within minutes, the cab I called for arrives. While I'm loading my two duffle bags, I hear Hank bark from the back yard. It's a sad call. He knows I'm leaving, but he cannot go where I am headed.

Between the cab ride to McCarran, and the exhausting flight to South America I'm beat. I check into a small motel for the night and even though I'm totally spent, I can't help but think of how close I am. She doesn't know I'm coming. What if she's moved on?

The few nights I spent at Lady Heather's helped some. It was mostly our conversations. By me not making a decision, was Sara right to think that I didn't want to continue the relationship? Did I do more harm than good by not responding to her video? God, I'm driving myself crazy. Sleep will never come now.

The darkness is all around me. I'm used to sleeping during the day. Actually it's been not at all lately. But eventually my body wins the battle against my mind and I fall asleep.

My eyes peer open and my body strains as I try to sit up. I need to get my ass in gear. After a quick shower, I grab my bags and find a small cab. He takes me where I ask to go. I give the driver a generous tip; money is no longer a necessity where I'll be trekking into.

The rainforest knows no currency.

I step into the building and a man calls to me. "Doctor Grissom." He rushes up, obviously glad to see me. "Glad you made it, please."

I follow his gesture and sit down. "I'm excited to be here."

"I'm thrilled to have you. Do you know how hard it is to get an entomologist half way around the world to work for pennies on the dollar?" He laughs and I grin. Guy has a point. "Oh, I'm Sam." I shake his hand. "Um, the site is set up five miles off of the only road going through the forest. Our supply truck isn't leaving for another hour. I suggest packing your satchel to carry yourself. Your larger bags will be packed in with everything else."

I'm getting butterflies in my stomach. "Thank you. Does she know?"

He smiles. "No, all I've told her is that I was able to get a very competent scientist to join her. She's quite the photographer." Sam grabs some digital pictures and shows them to me. I smile as my fingers come in contact with a piece of work that Sara created. "So, here's your GPS. It's pre-programmed with the coordinates of their camp." I glance at him and raise an eyebrow. "Sara and Samantha are running the camp. Sammy's a wonderful botanist."

"Well, I've wanted nothing more lately to work in the rainforest." I tell him.

Sam shrugs. "Being surrounded by beautiful women helps tho." I can't help but smile. I've missed working next to Sara so much. I've missed so many things about her that the butterflies are beginning to intensify. "Okay, I'll show you to the truck."

Several native men were packing the less thank large vehicle. The placed my bags in the back with the rest of the supplies before sitting themselves on top. I shake Sam's hand and climb into the creaky cab. I don't care what I'm in, as long as it takes me to Sara.

The drive is nearly two hours at the snail's pace we travel. Anxiety is an understatement at the moment. When the truck stops, they quickly begin unloading the supplies. Without any notification, they head into the lush jungle. I stop and check my GPS. Follow the blinking dot, how hard is that.

I'm quickly left behind as I stop to observe every insect I come across. They are more breathtaking in person. I take a deep breath and fill my lungs with the moisture rich air. It's the complete opposite of the Vegas atmosphere. No wonder Sara came down here. It's beautiful; the plants, the animals.

I double check my GPS and it's quick to tell me just a bit further. Now my stomach is rolling. It could be due to the fact that I haven't eaten in nearly a day, but I'm sure it's excitement and fear all wrapped in one. The leaves part as I step through them and into the clearing.

The first thing my eyes lock onto is the familiar figure standing before me. My breath is taken away. I can only stare at her, and just observe her beauty. She's snapping pictures of something, I'm not sure what it is, my eyes are trained on her. I notice her move slightly. She feels my presence.

She turns and looks at me, at first in disbelief then her face becomes flooded with emotion. I see nothing but pure love. My heart goes from a million shattered pieces to whole again with a single glance. She starts walking towards me. Its so cliché but I can't help it. I let by satchel fall to the ground as I meet her in the middle. I am quick to embrace her, and my mouth descends upon hers.

God I forgot how soft her lips were. Her arms wrapped around me is a feeling I've missed so. Our kiss breaks to random pecks as if we are both making sure we're real. I move back to her mouth and kiss her deeply. My tongue caresses her mouth as if I need to make her mine again.

We eventually part completely out of breath. Our foreheads press together as I look into her eyes. My hands hold her waist while hers caress across my bearded cheeks. I can't find the words I want to say, the words I've rehearsed over and over on my flights. As always, she took my breath away.

Sara was the first to speak. "I've missed you so much."

My heart turns to goo and I can't help but kiss her again. We are deep into our reconnecting when my stomach growls. I guess it was hunger.

She pulls away and laughs. "Hungry are we?"

I smile. "I was only thinking about you."

"When was the last time you ate?" I can now hear the concern in her voice. She was always looking out for my well being over hers.

"Umm…right before I boarded in Houston."

She pulls back to arms length. "Gil, ah." She scoffs. "Come on. You need to eat." Sara tugs on my hand and leads me to the canvas covered hut. "There's some left over lunch you can have."

I am frozen as I watch her pull a small bowl out and fill it with what looks like a stew. She turns and hands it to me. "Thank you."

"Sit down." I seat myself in a folding chair. "The accommodations aren't the best." I look around and notice the air mattress on the ground covered with only sheets. "Here." She hands me a bottle of water before sitting in another chair across from me. "I still can't believe you're here."

After swallowing the bite I had taken I nod. "In all reality, I can't believe I am either." I could read the many questions that crossed her face and pondered about just answering them or letting her ask. Knowing Sara she wouldn't want to pry. I finish my food and my stomach is thankful. "I'm sure you have a million questions, so why don't I just explain, and if any are unanswered you can ask."

She settled back into the seat. "Okay."

I took several long pulls from the bottle of water and cleared my throat. "After Warrick, and…" I motioned to her. The last thing I wanted to do was remind her of her leaving me. "…something just didn't feel right. I found myself having to force myself to go into the lab, to answer my phone."

"You had burned out." Her voice was soft and soothing.

With a nod I continue. "I was burning, but after your email, I completely burned out. And then after many extensive conversations with a therapist, I was afraid I had lost you forever. I didn't want to go home; I didn't want to go to the lab, hell I even spent a week sleeping in her guest bedroom." My eyes shoot up and lock with Sara's. Her eyes narrow as she makes her deductions. "She's the one who made me see the light. I wasn't happy without you. The lab didn't _need_ me. Sara…" I move to kneel in front of her and take her hands in mine. "I love you. I know I didn't say it enough, or express my feelings, but without you I'm a body without a soul."

Tears quickly well up in her eyes. She's practically speechless, but she manages to mumble. "I love you too."

I pull her down and kiss her. I pour my heart and soul into it. Her hands clutch onto my shirt as if I'll leave. My arms wrap around her and I hold her close. We are so involved with each other that we almost don't hear the sound of a throat clearing.

Sara pulls back and wipes the tears from her eyes. Her face is flush with embarrassment. "Sorry Sammy." She stands up and helps me to my feet. "This is Doctor Gil Grissom." I extend my hand and she shakes it. "Gil, this is Doctor Samantha Browning."

"So, I'm thinking you're more than friends." Sara smiled and glanced at me.

"Acctually, we're engaged." My eyebrows shoot up. All this time she's remained mine.

Sammy smiles. "Wow, that was fast."

Sara grins. "Long story." She looks to me before continuing. "I guess he's the new scientist Sam was talking about."

She rolled her eyes and stepped outside. "I don't want to hear a thing at night, you hear."

I glance to Sara and grin. "Just hang in there." She patted my shoulder and followed Sammy out of the tent.

I can't help but sigh deeply and go after them. While they were sorting through the supplies, I moved my duffle bags into the large tent, or whatever they called it. I helped move things to where they needed it to go. Now that I wasn't the one in charge, it seemed different. I was always the one giving orders not taking them.

"So, Doctor Grissom…" Sammy started.

I was about to say something, but Sara beat me to it. "Oh, um he prefers just Grissom."

Sammy inclined her head. "And I'm just Sammy. There's just something about the whole 'doctor' thing that just sounds weird." I can only glare at her with a blank expression.

Sara starts laughing at me. "What?" She keeps laughing and somewhere within me a new found energy comes forth. I approach her with a sly grin. "What?" She starts backing away, but I'm continuing my pursuit.

"Your face." She pointed and covered her infectious smile. "I just forgot how funny your expressions can be."

By now I've caught up to her and before she can get away, I wrap my arms around her and pull her against me. She laughing openly now and it's a laugh I haven't heard in years. "What's wrong with my expressions?" She's laughing so hard now that her legs fail her and I help her slide to the ground. I shake my head and step away.

"Wow, I've never seen her laugh so hard before." Sammy shrugs and I help her take several more items into the tent.

Sara regained her composure and we finished. They discussed some of the ground rules that they had imposed and Sammy threw in a few new ones, which made Sara blush. I just smiled.

I sat outside and listened to the sounds of the rainforest as the sun set. My internal clock was all screwed up; up all night, up all day, and now it takes forever for the day to end. Sara's armed with her camera and glances around for that perfect shot. Before I know it, I hear the clicking and glance at her. She's taking pictures of me.

"Sara." She just grins back at me. There's no way I can resist that.

She approaches me and moves to straddle my lap. I suck in a deep breath and call upon my self control. "It's almost time to stay inside."

My hands run up and down her back. "I know, there's all kinds of wild animals in the jungle."

With a smile she leans down and presses a firm kiss on my lips. Before it can get any further, Sammy clears her throat once again. Sara glanced up exposing her neck and I can't help but move in. "Sorry." She says and I can feel her throat rumble beneath my lips. "Gil…" I can't help but lick and taste her skin. It's an intoxicating taste. Finally she manages to push me back. "Tomorrow I'll take you to where we can take a bath."

My eyebrow goes up on instinct. "Do I smell or is there something else you're implying?"

Sara laughs and climbs off of me. The loss of pressure is both a relief and a disappointment. I watch as she ducks into the tent and returns with a pair of shorts. "Here, you'll have to change out here. Sammy's changing."

"Just shorts?" I've never been comfortable with being half naked in front of anyone. It took some time to get use to Sara seeing me.

"This is as cold as it's going to get."

I reluctantly take them and after she goes back inside, I change quickly. Feeling exposed, for reasons I don't know, I approach the tent. "Knock knock."

"Come on in." Sara calls.

Sammy is already on her mattress and under the thin sheet. Sara moves over and pulls her sheet back inviting me into her bed. I lower myself down and climb onto the bed. Sara covers me up and gives me a quick goodnight kiss.

"The rules still apply even though I'm asleep."

Sara props herself up. "Well, when Sam was here and you two got into it, I was still awake." Sammy's eyes shot open. Sara smiled back at her and settled down against my side.

I wrap my arm around her. God I missed this feeling. As she drifts off to sleep, I can't help but think of my decision. At this moment, it's the best one I've made so far. With Sara finally next to me again, I drift off into an easy sleep.

My body feels cool. I open my eyes and notice that I'm the only one. Both Sara and Sammy are gone. Taking the opportunity, I quickly dress and step out. There's a small bowl of fruit on the table. I assume Sara left it for me, but it's the monkey eating out of it that makes me smile. I sit down and grab the note. She left me breakfast while they went out at dawn. The monkey takes a piece of fruit and carefully chews it. I reach out and take a piece. It looks to be native. Leave it up to Sara to be a survivalist.

The monkey and I share the bowl and just as we empty it, Sara and Sammy appear. They giggle when they see my breakfast companion. "I see you've met Elmo."

"Elmo?"

Sara shrugged. "Sammy named him. He can grin so I guess it's like a tickle me Elmo thing. Here."

I watch as Sara smiled widely to the monkey and he smiled back. Or I guess you could call it a smile. Sara laughs and hands the primate a piece of food. He graciously takes it and begins to eat it. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

Sara moved over and kneeled next to me. "This is what we were observing this morning." Her fingers pushed several buttons as the images came up on the small viewing screen. "It's a three toed sloth. Sammy's trying to get a better idea of the vegetation they eat. See, she's coming down from the canopy." To hear the excitement in Sara's voice again is wonderful. She is truly happy. I'm glad I am able to see it. And I'm sure that I bring some of that happiness to her now. She finished going through the pictures before calling out to Sammy. "Hey, we're going to the lagoon."

"Lagoon?" Why don't I like the sound of that?

She pulls me to my feet and I hear Sammy yell something back, but couldn't make it out. We walk several hundred yards into the lush forest before I hear the water. Minutes later, the area clears and I'm mesmerized by the sight before me. It's like an oasis in the rainforest. Ahead of us is a small water fall that pours into a pond of the bluest water I've ever seen.

"Come on." I watch as Sara makes her way down to a rocky ledge. She pulled her shirt over her head and shed her bra. I swallowed hard as my eyes took in the sight of her. It had been a long time since I saw her naked. She's put on some weight and looks good. I was always concerned that she was too thin. She positioned herself at the edge and before I could say anything, Sara leapt from the edge and dived in.

It was like watching 'The Blue Lagoon'. Seeing her naked form cut through the water was enough to make my insides boil. She was truly a thing of beauty. "Are you coming?"

It was a split second before I was in the same place she was. I stripped my clothes and jumped in. The water engulfed me and when I surfaced for air, I was surprised to find in very warm.

Sara swam over to me and wrapped her arms and legs around me. I managed to swim closer to the edge so I could get my feet on the ground. She began kissing and nibbling on my neck, but it was when she sucked on my ear, I totally lost control. "Oh God, Sara."

I pulled her back and moved in for a passionate kiss. It had been so long since we had been together, I was hard in no time at all. While we were kissing I moved my hand down to feel the heat between her thighs. She moaned into my mouth, and ground down on my hand.

She pushed away. "I need you."

While she put her hands on my shoulders to stabilize herself, I fisted my erection before finding her opening. She groaned and dug her fingernails into me as I sank deep into her. I kissed her neck giving her time to adjust. "I love you." It just came out on a whim, but when I started kissing her again, I felt her hips move.

There's nothing more exhilarating than making love in water. The entire feeling is truly mind blowing. I started a slow rhythm wanting nothing more than to be buried in her. Sara loved it when I could thrust deep enough to hit her cervix. Today it was happening. With the aid of the water I could hit bottom every time. She moaned and groaned with every thrust. Her hands clawed wildly at my shoulders as I picked up the pace.

"Gil….Gil…"

I could feel her approaching the edge of orgasm, and with the pace I was going at, I wasn't going to be lasting too much longer myself. God please don't let this end, I've waited so long to be here, and in her.

"Faster...Gil…"

Her words commanded me and my body responded instantly. I grabbed her hips and began thrusting faster and faster. The sounds coming from me were not words, but a jumble of moans and grunts. Feeling her tighten around me and cry out my name in pure bliss was too much. I felt my stomach tighten and my muscles contracted. "Ahhh, Saraaaaa…" I felt the waves travel down into my throbbing erection and release my seed deep within her.

After the storm subsided I felt my muscles turn to jello. Sara held onto me before I could slip out of her. My eyes were closed and I could feel Sara's lips gently pressing onto my eyelids. "Gil." I opened them slowly to look at her. "Are you leaving?"

To me, the question of inconceivable. "Only when you do." She leaned down and kissed me. We parted a moment later. "And I'm going only where you go."

We made love again before leaving the lagoon. And it was weeks before we ventured to another section of the rainforest. With Sara back in my life, I felt like a new man.

TDCSI


End file.
